One thing I learned from the passing of my mom was that she didn’t carry her love for me around in her heart. Really, she didn’t! I know that sounds like such a strange thing to say of a kind, Christian mother. But, when she went to Heaven, I realized something life-changing and comforting. I had lost her presence here with me on earth; but, her love was still right here inside of me. I could feel it, rest in it, be joyful over it.
My mom had been sick many times in her life since I was 22 years old. And I’d always thought that when she died I’d be losing the greatest love anyone ever had towards me. But it wasn’t true.
As the days passed without her, I grew secure in the idea that she’d gone ahead of me to Heaven; but, she didn’t take her love for me with her. She’d spent more than 43 years of her life depositing her love for me INTO my heart.
I imagine while she was pregnant with me, she must have sang a little tune to me at times. I’m sure she lovingly rubbed her growing belly.
And when I was delivered, I’m confident she kissed my chubby baby face just as I kissed my sweet son’s cheek when he was born.
She held my tiny hands and helped me learn to walk, hugged me before I left for middle school, and had a snack prepared for me by the time I’d arrived back home from long high school days.
She shared her heart with me about the kind of person she hoped I’d be. She taught me right from wrong. She introduced me to God, and took me with her to church.
All deposits of love….
Maybe SHE didn’t even realize it at the time; but, she was giving me more than momentary glimpses of her heart. She was instilling in me a legacy of love that would sustain me during that time I’d be waiting to be reunited with her in Heaven.
And that, friends, gives me such encouragement! I know I’m doing the same for my boys. Of course they don’t always appreciate the talks about the kind of men I want them to grow up to be. And I’m sure my corrections don’t fall on happy ears. But they’ll know…. They’ll know I loved them. They’ll know someone cared enough to risk them not liking her to be sure they heard what they needed to hear in life: You can do better.
And one thing I’ll make sure my boys know– to empty out THEIR hearts to others. Yes, some people may not value your love; but, as Mother Theresa said, “Love anyway.”
Love is NEVER wasted. It deposits into a person’s heart something indelible! They can choose to draw on it at some point in life, even if it isn’t now….
I’m committed to keep making deposits into my boys’ lives. I’ll still tell them I love them when they roll their eyes. I’ll grab their tall manly bodies and hug them when they’d rather just head out the door. I’ll tell them good-night for as long as I have that blessing and pleasure in life. I’ll remind them God is their salvation. And I’ll have their backs no matter what storms come their way.
And when I go ahead of them to be with Jesus, they’ll learn what I’ve learned. That it’s always best to take advantage of every second you can get with those who love you; but, most importantly, that genuine love can never be taken away. They’ll have it forever as a guardian of their hearts. Through long, quiet nights and uncertain circumstances, or whatever challenges come, they WILL walk through life with the full assurance that They. Are. (Greatly) Loved. 
(Romans 8:38,39) “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
#BrendaDillon
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