Death is a hard thing.
When my mama passed, it was significant. I’d never known that kind of loss, emptiness, grief.
I was numb, just moving through life without feelings. Even when I worshipped:
I believed in Him like always.
I was as grateful as I’d ever been.
But there was no emotion.
I raised my hands. Spoke words of adoration. I meant them! But I experienced no joy, no awe, no… anything!
And I remember the exact moment my emotions returned.
My husband and I were driving along Route 52 to pick up our son from basketball practice. Out of nowhere, a MASSIVE hail storm hit. The sound was deafening!
As we came to a dead stop, fear gripped me like I’d never known.
I remember reaching for the door handle to flee my entrapment…and experiencing even greater fear with the realization that I couldn’t escape without being pummeled by the baseball size ice boulders falling incessantly.
I frantically sought to climb into the middle row of the van as my husband was saying he was afraid the enormous hail was going to break through the windshield. I worried about being rear-ended; because, you couldn’t see a thing!
And then, as quickly as it began, it ended. But the fear didn’t. It was significant and lasting.
Loud noises caused me to jump to alert. The forecast of a storm brought on uncontrollable anxiety. There were times I stood gasping for breath.
As much as I’d prayed for God to return my emotions after mom’s passing, I prayed every bit as hard for God to release me from the torment of fear.
Yes, it had startled me back into life. But it was sort of a back-handed answer to prayer. In an instant, I’d gone from one extreme to another.
I didn’t understand. I just wanted a middle ground. I longed for… normalcy.
For an entire year I battled it…
I prayed.
I cried.
I begged.
And then one day, I took authority over it in Jesus’s name. I declared that Satan couldn’t have my peace. I told fear it didn’t belong. And I stood my ground in Christ.
That was the day I was set free. Sure fear tried to creep back in at times; but, without fail I reminded the enemy that God was my defense & deliverer. And I drew a spiritual bloodline around myself that Satan & fear were not allowed to cross.
Christ’s blood is power. His name is power. And the enemy is defenseless in their presence.
Emotions can be a powerful influence in life. Death can steer them in crazy directions. But Christ is the answer. Always!
You have to know who you’re listening to– faith or fear.
I’ll choose the voice of faith every time….
⛲ #BrendaDillon #ChristianBlog